So I woke up 6:15am for church after four hours of sleep…

I felt so dedicated. So good that I rewarded myself by scrolling through Instagram for about 15 mins.

I reach kinda early cause I mixed up the mass times..If it was what I thought it was, I would have been late.

The church is air-conditioned. It’s not as full as I thought it would be. I picked a seat where no one was and put a bag on the seat next to me. Things start nice. There was a real vybzy entrance melody, you know. Rel hype up thing.. I thought I was in a praise + worship service.

Everythinggg niiiiceee just like Popcaan sang.

Then a lady with her baby boy come next to me.

I don’t not like kids but I saw this kid in mass before and he’s no normal kid. He reminds me of my cousins from Tobago. Wild ..all juiced up on life ..i dont know!! These are the kind of children that make their mums too tired to talk to them but not like if they would listen anyway.

I guess the moms thought it would be easier for the Indian man on her left if he stayed on my side, right?…WRONG.

I’ve been accused of impatience and blamed for my irrationality. Just last night too actually. My lovely and honest boyfriend told me that. Which is strange cause growing up I was the patient child (of two).

But Jesus was on my side todayy!! #AMEN

So I didn’t take on the little boy when he leaned on me..

Kicked me (by accident I’m sure)..

Played with his toy truck over my seat while pressing against my legs..

Or when he played at my ankles beneath my dress..The first two times.

I did realise he was getting progressively wilder though. So before he could bloody my foot, burst my sandals or stick his head up dress, I turned around, held his hand and in my soft baby voice asked “are you okay”.

Poor boy like he never talked to a stranger before. He couldn’t make eye contact and he nod yes. Then I asked him if he wanted to sit down in that same baby voice and he nod yes again. Five mins later he was at it again though.

And one minute later another mother bearing child came next to me.

I didn’t know how to feel. Thank the Risen Lord it was a quiet gentler baby because I don’t know how I would have put up.

Ten minutes of peace later, Jesus said “Kadija I need to test you today. I know you lacking sleep but the hour of your judgement has clearly come.” And lo and behold the lady with the gentle baby was delivered ANOTHER baby but he was crying.

#WHATISMYLIFE

You know how dogs are. When one howls, the neighbourhood picks up the howl and carries it. That’s how the church was today. A whole neighbourhood of howling dogs. A whole air-conditioned enclosed church with crying babies. They were competing with the choir and the choir had mics.

I tried my best and I concentrated my mind on that liturgy and every three minutes I asked for some strength. Lord, you know I could not have done this without You.

I realised that when I take my kids to church, they are going to be restless too. I said a prayer today, I prayed for quiet ones.

I left the church happy today.. No matter how many kids bawled in my head.. The praise and the joy that resonated through that service really lifted my spirits.

Next time I go to church, I’m going to go late and sit as far away from kids as possible.